| "I
repeat... Drop the wand and put your hands above your head!
This is your last warning!" exclaim Sate troopers from
their amphibcopter in a confrontation with an out of control
submerged metaphorical artifact. This is one of many recent
episodes resulting from a crackdown on excessive sentimentality
and deific fairy tale archetypes in submerged cinematic
environments. In defense of the policies an anonymous baton
swinging stereotype explained "We're trying to put
an end to all this unnecessary emotion and pondering of
analogous subtext and underlying themes and get back to
basics. So move it along folks... show's over... there's
nothing to see here." |
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| Monica
ponders a hard decision; 'Oh... How will I ever be able
to do this? ... Just pack him in the car and... and... drive
out there... and... and leave him?... Or should I
pick up the groceries first, since it's on the way? No,
no. Shop first then drop by the salon then pick up Martin
and then... no, that's obviously not gonna work. Hmmmmm...
Shop first, then drop off David, then the salon and
then Martin. Avoid that rush hour traffic…Yeah, that's the
best way.' |
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| "Before
we get started just let me explain something to you, little
mister scene-stealer... I've talked to Whoopi, Helen and
Gerard and I’ve heard all about it. But my name is Hurt...
as in William Hurt. That name means something now
and it's gonna mean something when we're finished this scene.
I hope I've made myself clear!" |
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Haley Joel Osment
didn’t attend the Academy Awards proceedings this year…
but he was watching. (Hey kid, I thought they
were funny too.)
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