Page 9

Uh... yeah... suuuure... I do homework and chores and every once in a while I throw a damned tantrum! ok?!... Whatever!" Haley snaps back as he tolerates another patronizing question from one of the many mass generated media clones who feel the need to remind their low attention span audience that in spite of unprecedented accolades from big named stars, an Oscar nomination at the tender age of 11 as well as numerous dramatic leading roles... he's just a 'normal' kid... whatever.
"Thumbs up!" exclaim two of the leading stars of 'Pay It Forward' in this spontaneous pose. Photographers loved the pose so much the two were obliged to suffer through five more variations. When asked if Haley would climb on Spacey's back for a shot, both stars immediately exchanged their thumbs for fingers in another familiar gesture.

Actor Brendan Gleeson was the victim of a bizarre accident today when according to witnesses all of his household appliances suddenly sprang to life and pummeled him to death. Gleeson who portrayed the sadistic antagonist, "Lord Johnson-Johnson" in the film Artificial Intelligence, was said to have been complaining of uncooperative appliances ever since the film came out, and once claimed a computer controlled elevator bounced him madly between floors before dumping him in the basement. Sadly his complaints were not taken seriously. Authorities are attempting to contact other actors in the Flesh Faire sequence to avoid further tragedy.

(I stole that bit from an old Woody Allen routine. Thanks Woody)


"Wellll... (ahem)…once again, that's because this is my real family," Sam Robards tries to respond once more to a clueless fan's observation about how different Monica and Martin look in real life.



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