We are deeply indebted to the original transcriber and translater of Haley's appearance on the SMAP x SMAP show , 24th January 2000. On behalf of all fans of Haley Joel Osment, please accept our sincere thanks!

The five members of the group are: Nakai Masahiro ( N ) , Kimura Takuya ( T ) , Inagaki Goro ( I ) , Kusanagi Tsuyoshi ( Ku ) , Katori Shingo ( Ka ).

HALEY on SMAP x SMAP : The Transcription and Translation

N: A friend of ours has come today.

Ka: Oh, he's come? [Takuya is mouthing "Friend?"]

N: Are you the closest, Shingo?

T: Who? [seems genuinely puzzled]

Ka: We play games together and...

N: Let me introduce him: Harley Joel Osment-kun who is appearing in "The Sixth Sense." Come in, please. [everyone applauds as the guest walks in with his interpreter] Hi! Hello!

Haley: Hello!

N: Nice to meet you.

Haley: Nice to meet you!

T: [To Katori] What? You're friends?

Voice Over: Harley Joel Osment. Eleven years old. Made his screen debut at five. A child prodigy whose performance in "The Sixth Sense" is said to have made him a candidate for the Academy Award for Best Leading Actor.

N: Do you know SMAP?

Haley: Yes, I do.

Interpreter: Who's he? [indicating Takuya]

Haley: Er, this is, er, Kimura-kun. [everyone gives a cry of surprise]

T: Thank god!

N: "Kimura-kun", he said. "Kimura-kun".

T: Thank god. It 's some time --

Haley: That's, er, Shingo?

Ka: Why don't I merit an honorific? [laughter]

Haley: Goro?

N: Goro. [as Kusanagi is indicated] The management.

Haley: Uh, uh, Chiyoshi.

N: Chiyoshi.

Haley: [giggling] And Genki Nakai-kun.

N: Huh?

Haley: Genki Nakai-kun?

Ka: "Genki" Nakai-kun?

T: That's nice! That's nice.

Ka: I've seen "The Sixth Sense", but it's really good, and I saw it bout four times. When it's shown in Japanese cinemas, there's a message from Bruce Willis that says we mustn't tell the secret to people who haven't ween the film yet. So I've followed Bruce Willis' teachings and haven't told anyone.

Haley: Oh, that's been one of the reasons why "The Sixth Sense" has been doing so well, because people like you've been keeping the secret, not telling anyone.

N: Completely taken in. [laughter]

Ka: Why say that? [to viewers] Look, you mustn't tell!

Voice over: Now, a game! Harley-kun will draw a picture on a certain theme, and SMAP members will use their sixth sense. If they draw the same picture, they win. The winner will be presented with a T-shirt from Harley-kun.

T: So use our sixth sense right here --

N: Yup. Use this sixth sense.

Ku: It'll be hard.

N: So what theme shall we have?

Haley: How about I draw my favourite vegetable?

N: You draw it first so we can't see.

T: There aren't many kids who like vegetables.

N: No. Usually kids find them awkward.

Haley: My Mom cooks them really well. [members make impressed noises] I'll make it easy.

N: Everyone finished?

T: Yes.

N: Right, then Tsuyoshi-kun. What's yours?

Ku: [showing his drawing] Spud.

Interpreter: Do you know what that is?

Ka: Potato.

Haley: [Looking at it] Yeah, I agree. I think it's a potato.

N: Kimura-kun's is?

T: Carrot. [repeats it in English]

Haley: Carrot.

N: Now mine. Bean sprouts. [laughter at Nakai's drawing]

Interpreter: Do you like bean sprouts?

Haley: Yeah! I love -- my Mom -- every meal my Mom cooks bean sprouts.

T: This might be it!

N: We don't know yet. Anyhow, what's yours, Goro-chan?

I: Aubergine.

N: Aubergine. Oh, you're good at drawing.

I: I put a bit of reflected light there.

T: In the wrong place, though.

I: It is? You know, they do it in comics...

Ka: In my case, since it's "The Sixth Sense", I thought it was probably Bruce Willis. [shows his cartoon of Willis]

Haley: [giggles]

Ka: He's laughing.

Haley: You know, you're all really good artists, but um...it was an asparagus. [shows his drawing]

T: Asparagus?

Ka: Asparagus!

Haley: Shall we try again?

All: Once more!

Haley: One more time. All right, then. This time it'll be fruit.

T: He's oddly enjoying this.

Interpreter: You having a good time?

Haley: Yeah, a great time. It's like art class.

N: It's like doing his favourite subject in class.

T: Like class.

N: Yeah. Haley: Kimura-kun, are you playing any sports?

T: [not looking up from his drawing] Surfing.

Haley: Oh, surfing? I guess you go to L.A. often and surf?

T: Malibu?

Haley: Yeah, you know one of the best ones out here is Zuma Beach?

T: Zuma -- No, I've never been there, no, no.

Haley: Yeah, next time you come out here --

T: Really? Then give me your phone number afterwards. [laughs]

Haley: Yeah. [laughter]

N: Hey, what is this?

T: He offered.

N: Then I'll give him my PHS number.

T: We're not talking about PHS.

N: Ready?

Ka: Ready.

N: Right, we'll start with Tsuyoshi-kun. Please.

Ku: Melon.

Haley: Melon?

N: Melon? Then next -- Kimura-kun, please?

T: Must be grapes.

N: Oh.

T: And, now he likes these -- [points to drawing of a bunch of grapes] and when he grows up, he'll be fond of wine [points to second drawing of wine]

Haley: [giggles] Oh, right. Ah, great.

T: I bet your dad likes it.

N: Now me. Um, peach. [laughter at his drawing]

T: You sure that's not something else?

I: Mine's the same: muscat grapes. Muscats.

N: Muscats okay?

I: Uh-huh.

N: Right, Shingo.

Ka: In my case, as it's "The Sixth Sense", that really scary girl peeking from under the bed. [laughter] Do you remember?

Haley: Yes! I do! [laughter] That's a good picture!

Ka: He took so long to notice, I thought I should have shown this one [shows another drawing], that scary man in the room at the beginning of the film.

Haley: Yeah, I remember that one, too. All right? Well, the answer is grapes. Um, Goro's right, and you're right.

I: I got it!

Haley: So --

N: Hold it up like this.

Haley: Oh, sorry , grapes. [holds drawing up to face the camera]

N: So the answer was grapes, and the winners are Goro-kun and Kimura-kun! [applause]

Haley: Kimura-kun wins a shirt [presents him with one] and Goro wins a shirt.

N: Thank you very much. [to viewers] Well, I hope you will all go and see "The Sixth Sense." Thank you very much. Finally, we have a new number to be released on 9th February, called Let It Be, if Harley-kun doesn't mind, we'll ask him to say Let It Be along with us.

Haley: All right.

N: Let's do it then. One, two --

All: "Let It Be!"

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	Haley Joel Osment on Smap X Smap 24th January 2000 62.6 MB